Let me guess… you didn’t think you’d be dressing up this year! But now, all of a sudden, it’s October 31st and you have to finagle a last-minute DIY Halloween costume because all of the other moms are wearing something, and you can’t be the only lame-o out trick or treating wearing yoga pants and a sweatshirt!
Or… some spur of the moment masquerade dealio is happening at the office that you didn’t get the memo about! The party stores are wiped out! You have ZERO time to make anything! Whatever costume you put together is going to come straight out of your closet and maybe even use some crap you were able to scrounge together from the garage!
Is this costume going to win you any awards for creativity? NO! You are going to look like the lazy loser you are with your half-baked, thrown together outfit! BUT(!)… at least you won’t look like a total scrooge (holiday crossover metaphor alert!) on Halloween! Without further adieu… here we go!
Chances are you won’t have a frilly shirt or fancy hat for this, but if you do bust it out! Otherwise, you can probably find a striped shirt in your closet. Put that bad boy on with baggy pants tucked into boots. Wear a bandana around your head, gold hoop earrings, and paint an eyepatch on with black eyeliner. If you have a toy cutlass or stuffed animal parrot, bring it! Aarrrgh!
Dress all in black: it can be a dress with black tights, or black leggings and sweater. Get yellow duct tape and tape stripes around your body. Find cardboard and cut it into the shape of wings. Color it with markers, paint, and/or more duct tape. Voila! Pour yourself a martini and really get your buzz on!
Dress in pajamas, then wrap one of your 600-thread count bed sheets around you toga style, safety pin a teddy bear to your body, wear an eye mask on your forehead, and carry a pillow around. You don’t even have to wear make-up for this one since you’re supposed to look sleepy!
Again, dress in all black. Use black eyeliner to draw a spider web on your face. If you can find some fake plastic spiders at the drug store, glue gun those suckers onto your clothing. Yep, that’s it!
Here’s a quickie number for the men! Over a t-shirt wear one of your wife’s/girlfriend’s colored bras. Stuff the cups with jars of baking spices from the kitchen pantry so they’re spilling over the top and visible. This costume will likely offend one or more women so use caution when wearing to the office if you have a mortgage and value keeping your job! Don’t say you weren’t warned!
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