Who is Steve Maloney?

Who is Steve Maloney and why am I being mean? I’m actually being the opposite of horrid and I’ll tell you why his existence is so troubling to me. Because I am not him. I am not currently channeling manhood or anything, but why is it that he is so impossibly cool just all by himself? How do you get to be that way? Clearly I haven’t found the secret or I would have no need to write this blog. But let’s start closer to the beginning.

I met Steve a lot of years ago when my husband was working in San Diego and he mentioned that his boss’ Dad was going to have this showing of his art and my husband wanted to go – was I game? Was I game to go to an art showing, ah, yeah, the question was, who took my husband and what have you done with him? The Light Of My Life is the most starched, buttoned up, knickers-in-a-knot-24/7-guy that you will ever meet. Seriously. You will not ever see his name in my blog because if someone Google’s him, he doesn’t want to be associated with this madness. (I am NOT lying.) Go ahead, have my children woman but make sure no one knows we’re a match. Anyway, when my little angel mentioned going to this art thing I was VERY skeptical. I was pretty sure that either Costco was having a parking lot sale or my husband was having an affair and wanted to hook up with the chick under my nose. Nope. He swore the guy really was an artist and he really wanted to go. Whatever, I would snooze through the whole thing, per usual and feign immense fascination.

Wrong. Light Of My Life (LOML) had scored. We went to the party, had a ball and get this, my husband BOUGHT a piece of art. I was now sure that perhaps my husband wasn’t having the affair that I expected but rather hard drugs were involved. Wrong again. LOML had quite possibly changed my life.

Meet Steve, the artist. He’s kind of a straight-ish laced artist from my perspective (no visible tattoos, no bracelets indicating a recent rehab-sign-out) just an interesting, smart guy who actually knows what he’s doing. Fast forward. Steve lives in the Desert with his wife Yvonne (great artist too but I need to write another blog about that because this one is too long already) and of course he has a house next to his house that is his studio. Why can’t I have a separate house as a studio? (Why can’t I wear cowboy hats and paint my world in sunny colors?) Everything is climate controlled, decked out with all of his new projects (and old ones), full of rock star fabulous art books, inspirational everything, full of light and ridiculously great modern furniture. (I didn’t open the fridge but I’m sure there was just something great in there too, in a new package that he’s invented to store cheese or something, patent pending and Oprah is probably about to interview him.)

I got to see Steve’s latest stuff when I was on my walk through last weekend in Palm Springs for a party TPG is doing for his son and daughter-in-law. Steve happened to be at lunch. Did I want to see some of his new stuff? Ah, YEAH. That’s when I got the latest tour and was sure I needed to come back in my next life as Steve Maloney, artist, man about town.

So what’s he up to? Check out The Maloney Gallery ( www.themaloneygallery.com ) and see for yourself. I don’t even know where to start and I won’t do it justice but I’ll try. He has this whole race car art going right now where he was featured live at the Daytona Speedway – “…Mixed-media works created from dinged, dented and shredded parts of actual NASCAR racecars.” Of course he got to be live at the Daytona Speedway with his art, which he signed on the spot and did so wearing this lab coat (paging Dr. Steve) that supposedly came from his dentist.

But that’s not all. When you’re on the site, check out the Abstracts by the Numbers stuff. Bright and cheerful and just an all around great time. (PS – If I even get ONE email about “my 4 year old could do that” you will be banned from this site for life. This is art people.) Still interested? One of my FAVORITE ever ideas is his whole collection called Banned Booty: “A contemporary collection created from carry-on items confiscated from airport security.” Hurt me, help me. WHO COULD COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? He has a great video clip that of himself at the Daytona gig which I told him must be on YouTube immediately. Sweet thing, he jotted down a note about UTube. He also needs a blog, stat.

I need to stop now. I need to get off of this site immediately. I am too pregnant to get myself involved in enough Oxycontin today to make myself feel better. Unfortunately, I am not related to Steve but maybe I can channel some of his hipness through powers other than DNA and drugs. Hail to the king. You rock. Keep painting.

Star Struck Party Goddess, Logging Off.