Just so you know how truly glamorous my life really is. I am at my desk trying to get ready for a conference call about some of our web businesses (this is not my forte so it’ll be a little challenging from my end). I talk to my sister-in-law about her tamale plan for tomorrow and having us all over for dinner. She sounds like she’s in about the same shape as I am. Her 5 year old is using a fork to poke holes into a new “fort” (box) that they have made for when it rains tomorrow (it will for sure rain the moment the fort is destroyed.) She doesn’t want me to have “help” [read: nanny] at Christmas tomorrow. I am incapable of functioning on my own as I am on my LAST nerve with the 2 year old. I don’t want family drama, so no nanny. I’m adding the rum to my coffee right now.
I then hear something in the other room. It is my mother-in-law taking a photo of the 2 year old in front of the tree. He refuses to smile. He starts beating the gifts and promptly gets a time out. He resurfaces and decides it would be a good idea to “crawl” on his back, backwards across the whole house. Moments ago I heard a crash and a thump. I found him diving headlong into the Christmas tree (full of delicious ornaments) over perfectly wrapped packages. The bottom half of the tree now has the little dangling hooks as ornaments (the pieces are at the base of the tree) and the shards of glass? I guess I just hope to get a Dust Buster for Christmas.
I’m now off to my conference call. Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanza! Adios and Wish You Were Here! (Really, I wish you were here to see this for yourself.)
Ah, the joys of motherhood. Kids at that age are so damned cute. My daughter ate an entire glass bulb at that age. I freaked out and called the doctor who said, “Give her bread. It’s fine. The bulb will pass without incident. I get about 5 of these phone calls a year.” Wha? 5 other kids eat glass too? Shocking.. truly.