The Benefits of Kimchi Yoga

This post is for a few of my friends out there who will get a particular kick out of this blog. (You know who you are.) As many of you are aware, I have joined a yoga cult. I am convinced it is a cult similar to Scientology because they definitely want you to be part of their second family. Lord knows I have enough family, children and ex-husbands and don’t need anymore “family” of any kind. I don’t want to use their name because I’m scared they have a Google alert. (Hint: You can see the name on my shirt.)

So what’s with today’s photo? This is part of my new brain wave vibrational therapy to make me smarter. I am now the proud owner of a BR-Q. This small device has a series of 6 programs designed to “relax” the mind (nearly impossible for TPG), “unite” the left and right brains (to increase intuition, etc), and somehow create new synapses which will fire at will or something. Most sessions are 11 minutes long but the macdaddy that you’re supposed to use just before you do a “task-oriented activity” lasts about 30 minutes. You cannot use this machinery if you have seizures. (This is not comforting.) Anyway, this cheerful voice tells you to relax, then these pulsing vibrations start and lots of lights, similar to your own personal UFO landing. I really do feel smarter. Please note my complexion in the picture (this is an unretouched photo). It looks pretty dewy to me and I’m going to say that that’s part of the benefits (also might be my Kate Somerville exfoliant but who’s counting.)

Right now, my rockstar, Michael Jackson devotee/nanny is undergoing a treatment and she seems quite relaxed although the image of her in her hot pink t-shirt with the glasses on is worth a million bucks. The photo below? Well, that’s my very French mother-in-law that I convinced to try it out. If you know Michele, you can really appreciate how ridiculous this whole thing is. Really, I do feel smarter. Later in the week? I will be updating you on the new length of my eyelashes (compliments of Revitalash – no, I am not compensated for this) and the fact that I am going to dye my hair a deep shade of mahogany/auburn in order to practice before my 40th birthday. Maybe I could do a live-stream from my Botox appointment?