Politics As Usual?

I am about ten seconds from jumping out of my chair. I should not be on the computer right now but cannot help myself. Moments ago I was debating the benefits of serving agave syrup with whole wheat pancakes instead of maple syrup (remember, I’m still in Mexico and I think the agave wins for now) when I finally had to excuse myself.

The following thoughts are rattling around in my head right now and I need to expel them immediately (this is clearly the culmination of something big). In the September issue of Vanity Fair, Carla Bruni is on the cover and in about 10 pages talks about all of her lovers, Sarkozy’s lovers, the affairs, kids from 12 different people, it was just amazing. Then, I continue through the mag to see that Michelle Obama was named one of the best dressed women, Michael Moore has been on t.v. saying that Hurricane Gustav is evidence of a “God in heaven” because it has de-railed the Republican Convention. Some other former DNC gentleman named Fowler was caught in a video saying something similar and has now “apologized profusely.” Bummer sir, the whole thing’s already been posted on YouTube.

Meanwhile, Bush isn’t going to the RNC because he’s monitoring the New Orleans hurricane from Texas (?), while I am watching Geraldo Rivera on Fox literally having a heart attack on the air as he climbs up on the levees in New Orleans trying to figure out if they will hold. Now from a not so smart Polish girl’s perspective here, not even us kielbasa lovers would climb to the top of a New Orleans’ levee in the middle of a hurricane. Geraldo seemed not to notice that every time the levee splashed (evidently this is what it is designed to do, so easy Geraldo), his camera guy could be heard moaning in the background and then they would lose the signal (helloooooo, wet equipment does not produce quality live feeds.)

Geraldo is evidently still alive as Fox is now featuring not just a split screen but FOUR pictures on at once. G.R. also claimed that while he was taping, he lost sight of two naval ships and thinks they have disappeared from the levee (after he claims they crashed into the levee walls). Evidently, Geraldo forgot that he is NOT filming in the Bermuda Triangle and that those ships are there somewhere.

Before I completely spontaneously combust here, I get word that someone (Michael Moore or is it a real report?) on the AP is saying that Sarh Palin’s 17 year old daughter is pregnant and will marry the father. Are you kidding me? It’s Labor Day, that’s why I decided to take this trip when I did because NOTHING would be happening. Instead the world is blowing up and I think I’m safer on the beach with my basket people. (Thank you S. Davis for your blog comment to call them “Bambino” and hope they don’t return. I’m on it. Robyn, to answer your question regarding a previous blog, “stop, drop and roll” refers to the earthquake instructions we get in school. Basically, when you hear/feel the earthquake, you’re supposed to STOP what you’re doing, DROP to the ground (as opposed to running to the top of a levee) and ROLL. Now that I’m thinking about it, I forget where we’re supposed to roll. I’ll ask my Mom and get back to you. One more thing while I’m heavily caffeinated, thank you to Yasser Arafat [blog reader] for giving me Aisha’s new email address [the troll that was emailing me saying she was interested in God knows what.] Help me, I think I need to take up jogging.)

I almost forgot that the purpose of this blog was political. Since the U.S. is clearly blowing up from D.C. to Alaska, via New Orleans, I think that we should elect the Dalai Lama as President with Geraldo Rivera as V.P. and they can all govern from the very safe, politically uneventful spot in the Bermuda Triangle where Geraldo can dig up sunken treasures and look for lost ships when the V.P. position doesn’t need him.

And how was YOUR morning?