Here’s what’s going on over here. I have a work situation that is driving me batty (make that about 6 of them). Because of this, I am manifesting a cheerful attitude. This involves reading Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray at night, listening to Marcus Buckingham’s Go Put Your Strengths To Work while I exercise and Michael Gerber’s E-Myth Revisted while I drive. I am a mobile paradise of positive thinking and it is not working. Ten seconds from now I will be watching The Secret and writing my manifest lists. Meantime, I feel like someone took my positive little numbers and switched them with the challenged neighbor’s down the street. Nothing is working. I am about to check on Mercury being in retrograde because everyone I come in contact with have lost their minds.
How do I know none of this is working? Because I just opened the dishwasher to find a melted plastic roach trap veritably sautered inside the bottom of the machine after all of the clean dishes had been put away. I am sure one of my children (who probably put it in there in the first place) will now have three heads. While the rest of the world is going green, I am spewing toxic trash to all familial eating utensils. I was so wound up last night that I took a bottle, rather bucket full of Alka-Seltzer (the last one, never a good sign) and chased it with a glass of sauvignon blanc. This was after I realized that I had already popped a couple of Motrin. This morning, due to too much port and cheese for dinner, I dug into the best frickin’ oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever eaten. I ate seven. Surrounded in a positive pink TPG haze of sugar and karmic backlashes, I agreed to go and see Tropic Thunder with my better half. This has to be the worst movie ever made.
Because nothing is working and because my husband will not, under any circumstances tolerate a replay of The Secret which he considers toxic, California hogwash, I am going to settle in to an evening of mindless blogging and manifesting celebrity clients. Someone call Tony Robbins, I think I need to “change my state.” While we’re at it, has anyone heard from Kate Hudson? She still, despite all of my chanting in her direction has not called. (If this Kate Hudson reference means nothing to you because you’re new to my blog, you’ll have to go back a couple of months to the archives and get filled in.)
Leave a Reply