Must Love Dogs, Er…Birds

OK, I have a new favorite person in my life. She is impossibly fabulous and I cannot get enough of her. Not in a lesbian like way of course, just in a mere fascination, train-wreckish kind of way – the whole situation is just too good to be true. Let me elaborate.

Yesterday I get a 9-1-1 from my very uptight (she would say this herself I think) mother first thing in the morning. She is laughing so hard she is crying and if it weren’t for Caller I.D. I would never have recognized the voice. She can’t speak because she herself has just been introduced to the deliciousness of Pigeon O’Brien. What is a pigeon? According to Wikipedia: Pigeons and doves are stout-bodied birds with short necks and short slender bills with a fleshy cere. Doves and pigeons build relatively flimsy nests from sticks and other debris, which may be placed in trees, on ledges, or on the ground, depending on species. According to TPG: Pigeons are flying rat-type birds that poop a tremendous amount, often on parts of my body, especially on trips to large cities when I am wearing silk.

Pigeon O’Brien is the “friend” (I use this word VERY loosely, standby for why) of Rielle Hunter, (she pronounces it Ree-elle although most of the world has been calling her Rye-lee), John Edwards mistress. You really need to see the divine miss bird speak for herself because it is show-stopping and mind blowing. Politics is completely irrelevant to me in this situation. John Edwards’ wife is dying of inoperable cancer and this dude is banging a chick with a friend called Pigeon. There has to be some special karma for this kind of thing. Anyway, in the CBS interview with Pigeon, she talks about Rielle (Reeeeee-ellllle) being “very interested in what makes people tick, rigorous dialogue, and only connects with people on a soul level. She is a person of tremendous integrity, more so than anyone else she’s (Pigeon’s) ever known.” Pigeon goes on to say how Reeeee-ellle noted how committed the Edwards’ relationship is (ah, helllllloooooo).

To make my entire day, Pigeon then went on Fox (don’t worry, I Tivo’d it because yes, I do work and secretly I wanted to make sure I could re-watch it if I had a bad day) and kind of got creamed. The host kept asking her what her “friend” Reeeeee-ellllle would think of Pigeon trash-talking her. Pigeon didn’t think she would be too thrilled. Certainly she’s not as thrilled as I am with the whole thing. Pigeon capped off the interview by swearing on her alive mother’s life that John Edwards is the father of Reeeeeee-elllllle’s baby. (Oh, and she also mentioned that she has received some mild threats, not exactly to her life, just, you know, threats. Ah, ya thiiiiiiiink?) Check out the links. Life just couldn’t get better.

Here are some additional notes, compliments of Mahalo.com – deeeeeeelightful.

Fast Facts

1. Claims the Hunter affair with Edwards started in February of 2006
2. Says that Hunter is insistent on integrity, honesty and openness
3. She doesn’t judge her friend for falling in love with Edwards
4. Says that the affair was about love, not sex
5. Claims that Edwards and Hunter connected on a deeply intellectual level
6. Never discussed Hunter’s conscience regarding having an affair with a married man
7. Lost touch with Hunter around June of 2006 as she focused on Edwards
8. Says that Edwards and Hunter were mutually engaged in the relationship
9. She believes that Edwards is the father of Frances Quinn Hunter