Since this is the week of embarrassing reality show dramas, I might as well throw another one into the mix. Why not?
Meet Giacamo, one of Bravo’s Shear Genius’ reality star contenders.
His “real” name is something like Giacomo (Giacamo?) Jimmy John (maybe Jimmy Dean?) Malcom Stewart Forbes (or something very similar.) You see, this gentleman, LOVES women. This is READILY apparent when you meet him. Trust me, he oozes some kind of magic.
You see, Giacamo was my hairdresser when I was at Georgetown. I LOVED Giacamo. I can’t even remember how I found him, but when I did, I was hooked. I proceeded to spend the next 3? maybe 4 years paying to stalk Giacamo. It was kind of like a very clean prostitution kind of arrangement now that I think about it. I met Giacamo, he wielded the magic scissors, I was hooked, I paid my bill and then went on my way. Psycho obsessive compulsive that I am though, I had to find a way BACK to him, fast. This included strolls past the salon on “errands” and “oops I forgot trips to buy ‘product.’” Nothing really worked. If a healthy 18 year old could’ve had a heart attack, it would’ve been me. I was smitten. Giacamo could’ve cared less.
The errand runs and “strolls for product” didn’t work, so I had to get craftier. I started stalking him at a club in downtown DC called “The Fifth Column”, quite a cheesy place, but I was determined to “run into him.” This didn’t work either. (In case you’re taking notes, this one sided love affair is getting quite expensive and doing wonders for my ego.) I then tried a new strategy: lengthy procedures. My hair was short at the time but that didn’t stop me. What am I talking about, my hair is still short. Anyway, I decided to get it permed. Procedure not long enough. I went for color. The perms and the color I decided were best not handled on the same day/appointment. It’s a wonder I didn’t flunk out of school (or go broke.) Both actually almost happened, now that I relive all of this. Who needs food when you can spend all of your allowance on, natch, YOUR HAIRDRESSER!
Then I decided that I wanted to take Giacamo to my deb ball. Yes, the whole society situation you’ve read about. Mister red lobster curls and me as a pair. Great idea, right? My mother literally gulped, coughed and screeched. There was no way in heeellllll that I was going to have my “coming out” with this societal anti-Christ (as far as Judy was concerned.) Because she was going to disown me, I couldn’t take Giacamo. Instead, I had to just keep getting my hair reprocessed and hope for the best. The best did not occur.
Giacamo left for Frederic Fekkai in New York and SHOCKER! I needed to be in New York from time to time. I would see the love of my life off and on. (He still could’ve cared less. I’m pretty sure that after a million dollars worth of haircuts, treatments, consultations and “product”, he still called me “Marilyn” one day. I nearly cried in the chair.) Of course by now I would have my Mom wait to get her hair done until she had to go to New York or Washington and I had to “join her.” Naturally, what mother could get their hair cut without their trusted daughter by their side?
Then one day I went to New York, er, I was “in New York” and went to my appointment. Giacamo was a no show. What, I gasped? What do you mean? It’s me, Marilyn, all the way from DC or L.A. or wherever I was at that point. Didn’t he know I was coming? Evidently he did or didn’t but he still wasn’t there. I think a gentleman named Rupert cut my hair that day and that was it. I nearly sobbed through the whole appointment. Told Rupert it was allergies. New York City, you know, full of pollen. I was done. 5 years in, I realized that Giacamo probably wasn’t interested.
Ya think??
Giacamo moved to LA, I made the appointments, Giacamo didn’t show, blah, blah, blah. This is so pathetic to relive. I got a life, got married and basically forgot about Giacamo. Until last week. When I saw the Shear Genius previews and drum roll…there he was. Giacamo. WTFrick? I gasped! My husband said “What now?” (Remember, it was a tough week for me in reality tv.) I screamed,”It’s Giacamo, he’s back!!” My husband: “Giacamo, what’s a Giacamo and where did he come back from?” Oh whatever, he’d never understand. This is unrequited, passionate love we’re talking about. My Costco-wearing-pants husband could never understand. Giacamo was a star, I was to be his muse! (Really, really, really, this couldn’t have been farther from the truth, it’s just fun to kind of type and make myself look a little less like a complete dork.)
I watched Shear Genius, had a good laugh, watched it again this week and then, surprise! Giacamo decided he would quit. He would no show on someone else. What? Yes, he went back to Austin. (Hey, I was just in Austin, had I known, you can bet I would’ve need a “little touch up” and an “Oh, wait, don’t I know you from D.C?” kind of moment. So another reality show contestant bites the dust.
I pretty much have decided that I now need my head examined. Things are spiraling out of control. Oh, and if you want another wedding planner’s take from the experience I blogged about yesterday, please check out my sweet friend, Amber’s blog. While you’re doing that, I think I’m going to decide if it’s time for a little “trim.”
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