I Don’t Even Know What Title To Give This

I am pacing around here like a caged tiger. I have had the flu on and off for the last week and a half and I am over it (I mean I am so over having the flu, not “I’ve gotten over the flu.” ) I have consumed enough Thera-Fluto to choke a horse. I have been doing my ezines, starting new businesses, doing television shows in the middle of the night and nothing is changing. Someone (who shall remain nameless) told me that to get over this flu I need to take Mezcal. Well, Mezcal is (from what I can piece together) something like the unprocessed part of agave, maybe before it is juiced into tequila. So I wake up this morning to this bottle of gasoline and think I’m supposed to drink it (how?) I ask for advice. One person tells me to drink it with lemon and cinnamon. Like right now? How would I function, the stuff smells like battery acid. Later, I get clarification that I’m pretty much supposed to bathe in it. So what the h-ll, my husband’s at the office, so I do.

I then decided it was a good idea to light a fire in the fire place (why not?). I forgot I was holding the bottle of Mezcal. This almost set the place ablaze and me with it. After my Mezcal bath I went to check the Christmas tree (I think I was experiencing a light skin-skin contact buzz). Destroyed. My tree is destroyed. We have almost no ornaments (see previous posts regarding obnoxious 2 year old). I did get a clarifying email from Celeste regarding the bulb (remember, she was the one that said when the kids eat the bulbs they’ll pass without incident.) She clarified that while the bulb will pass without incident, it will not be intact. This is helpful. As far as I know my camel spitting 2 year old has yet to consume the entire thing although he’s very interested in his sister doing just that.

So after the Mezcal, I pass out. I can’t even think of anyone left to email. I wake up, start checking (manically, shocker) my Constant Contact account to see how many new subscribers I have. This is like crack. Thanks Merri Jill (need a new website, call her) for this really great addiction – it’s just what I needed. So now I’m texting my friends (people aren’t answering my calls right now it seems – shocker!) and sucking down non-stop Hoodia pops. I’m chomping through my second with the third at the bedside. Wonder how that will react with the Mezcal? I’m 10 seconds from going to practice the piano. So, what’s a girl to do? Try to channel Kate Hudson of course! I just popped in The Secret and am hoping for the best. However, we’re at the part where “you are what you think about.” Lord, it must be a s-it storm coming. Time to re-direct my thoughts. Bored? Email me, I’m 100% available.

Oh, and one last thing, thank you Susie (SooBoo Designs) who congratulated me on my energy. Energy? I feel like I’ve got 6 fingers in the grave. Now I’m going to go back to my Hoodia Pops (Eat Candy, Lose Weight, Ask Me How) and The Secret and probably delete this whole post. Send help.