Dear God, I think you’ve forgotten me in Pasadena (although things
have improved since Monday.) Please send me Kate Hudson today so that I
can get excited.

In the meantime, I thought this was particularly
funny. I don’t think it’s supposed to be funny, but rather touching, so
maybe you’ll be touched.

Holiday gift suggestions:

To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
                                    Oren Arnold

TPG Version:

To your enemy, a nice, big high maintenance client who calls 24/7.
To an opponent (my two year old), a Vicodin.
To a friend (Beach Bomar), a smile even bigger than yours.
To a customer, service (I’m going to keep this one).
To all, charity (we’ll keep this one too, don’t want to bag on the poor or challenged).
To every child, a good example (this one is tough, I’m going to stick with giving him some booze).
To yourself, a trip to Neiman Marcus followed by a massage.

Make it a great one peeps!