So we’ve all seen the photos (since I’ve been posting them too) about the Los Angeles fires. We have so many fires going here, this time it really is “Breaking News.” However, as I have mentioned in previous posts, Los Angeles is a city without weather so when we get a fire or an earthquake or any kind of mist or rain in the forecast, all hell breaks loose. You can imagine that with “fire watch 2009” all of the breaking news is tripping over itself. We can’t even finish one breaking news story before the next one is breaking in on that. Now, enter my husband.
As you, my loyal flock know, I LOOOOVE my husband, deeply and desperately. However, he does drive me nuuuuts. It’s started again. Seatbelts on, I sense a Fall full of blogs. He is very good about reminding me about things, helping me drive, assisting me with my plants and their water and care, etc. You get the picture. So now with the fires that we can see from our bedroom, we have the binoculars permanently at the ready for a quick check of the scene. Last night my husband goes outside and shocker, the world is ablaze. He can turn on the internet, the news, whatever and see this but I guess it’s better to smell it too. He reminds me that 1) We need to add dirt to the hillside (he is nervous about the rainy season and upcoming mudslides), b) Confirms that the leaves have been removed from the roof (the roof is composite, is it the leaves in the gutter that are going to set our house on fire? How about the entire freakin’ hillside that’s dry as a bone that we don’t want to water? c) Reminds me that with the fires, get ready, “Animals Will Be Coming Down From the Hills.” Say it again?
Ladies and gentlemen (if we had any male readers in the first place), we LIVE IN THE HILLS. So where are these animals coming from? Other hills? From the hills on fire? If yes, then they would have to cross a couple of freeways. Possible I guess but are we thinking of a Noah’s Ark type rush or just a mild, occasional jumping rabbit. I couldn’t figure the big drama with “animals coming down from the hills” until he clarified or I heard him better, not sure which. He thinks the animals coming down from the hills I guess are going to eat our children. People, have you seen our children? The middle one is the noisiest, loudest, most combative individual ever born on God’s green earth. Not an animal around who would want to touch that sinewy flesh. And our daughter? Did you see her photo on Sunday’s blog? She is the size of Texarkana. No “animal” “coming down from the hills” could possibly abscond with her. She weighs more than a water buffalo.
So what did I do? I just said ok. My sweet, docile self and I just said “ok.” OK, we’ll watch for the rush of wayward animals coming down from the hills that we already live in. Then I started to think, what kind of animals exactly? We already have skunks, raccoons, deer, bobcats, mountain lions, snakes, etc. What is he expecting that’s worse? Elk? Are we going to have the Pasadena Elk come running down (or up) the mountainside to seize my McDonald’s fed 16 month old? Are elk even carnivores? I think you see where this is going and I think I better go run around the Rose Bowl so that I can keep these vicious creatures at bay and try and stay married at the same time. Ta ta for now. [Robyn, I beg your pardon if there are spelling/grammatical errors. Greatness is difficult enough to achieve with out punctuational perfectness. Love you, miss you, mean it.]
BTW, if any of you have spotted the now alive (see Friday or Saturday’s post) Michael Jackson, let me know. He might be coming up the hill too.
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