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You Know It’s Bad When Internet Scammers Are Captivating

This will come as a big surprise to all of you regular blog readers but I have had it. If I hear one more word about crashing markets, economic bail outs, politics, candidates, who did what to whom, I am going to jump. I am on a temporary, yet perhaps semi-permanent news fast. Therefore, I can only work so much in any given day and need an alternate source of entertainment. Enter Mr Carlson of the joyous internet scammers united.

As you know, I blogged about Mr Carlson and his stupid puppy issue on Sunday night.

Mr Carlson (I like the no “.” after “Mr” ) has a sweet puppy for sale, er, free adoption, if only you pay the $250 to “ship” the puppy (in a box? with styrofoam? bubble wrap? how does one ship a puppy? ). As the regular readers also know, I often receive the “I lonely tonight, I cute, please call me, boyfriend not home” emails, which I promptly delete. This mortgage crisis however, has delivered me into the arms of skanky Mr Carlson. You see, I have given up.

So I emailed him.

I told Mr. Carlson (I can’t type that stupid name anymore without a . after “Mr” ) that I want the puppy. I tried to sound kind of dumb. I told him to contact me asap. The email is below. I will now be dedicating a few posts a week to my new friend and our dialogue. I just can’t wait to see how this turns out. Desperate times call for desperate measures. (I so pretty, a little stupid, my husband no home tonight, I buy puppy for you, yes?) And yes ladies, thank you for the info on this email scam; I will be posting your research about this later in the week. But first, here’s the first lob back to Mr. Carlson. (All typos are intentional.) Stay tuned, this could get fun. Cameroon, here I come.

* * * (Sent to Mr. C on Mon, Oct 6, 4:50pm PST)

Dear Mr Carlson,

This is very exciting. I would love to adopt the puppy. Can you tell me what kind she is? I would like a photo. How do you know it’s a girl.

My name is Marley and I live in Pasadena, CA. My nearest airport is Burbank. Where are you in California?

Please respond as soon as possible.

Marley

* * *

P.S.

By the way, while I got all of that info on the puppy email post from Sunday, nobody took the bait for the two year old and trust me, he’s still available. He’ll arrive at your doorstep with a $100 gift certificate for Target. Kind of like one of those rebate deals. Buy something, get something free. If you’re nice to him, he might not poop on your other kids or new outfit.

Want the rest of the Mr Carlson stories?

Check these out:

Mr. Carlson – Part 2 – Internet Scammer

Mr. Carlson – Part 3 – Internet Scammer

Mr. Carlson – Part 4 – Internet Scammer

Mr. Carlson – Part 5 – Internet Scammer

Mr. Carlson – Part 6 – Internet Scammer

Mr. Carlson – Part 7 – Internet Scammer