Yesterday I had to traverse the globe and be in appointments in all different cities. All this needed to happen without the use of my phone headset which is somehow malfunctioning, or perhaps it’s my phone or ears that are malfuncitoning. Anyway, a wayward TPG without hands-free devices is not so great. I am going to check and see if Mercury is in fact in retrograde because this could be part of the problem.
Anywhoooo, this is sort of a take on yesterday’s blog which was quite fun to write.
1. You CAN be too rich or too thin (or nipped and tucked.) Heading down Rodeo Drive to my second appointment, I spotted a banana yellow, mack-daddied up Rolls Royce. This situation was something like a cross between a school bus, a yacht and the winged victory. It looked like it had full satellite capabilities. Had I not been driving and already using my telephonic device as a phone, I would’ve used it as a camera and taken a photo. Someone had way, way too much time/money to put this mobile situation together.
2. When you (or your high paid physician) pulls your face so tight and injects so much collagen into your lips that it looks like a queen bee factory landed on your face, you’ve gone too far. Ditto for boob jobs in the F range. If your face has started to resemble that of a circus animal known as a tiger OR your face now looks so young, yet your body is flagging and sagging, PEOPLE WILL KNOW THIS IS NOT NATURAL. It is not attractive to have dimpled knees down to your toes so work on that part too so your body doesn’t look like it belongs to someone’s grandmother and the face is closer to Pamela Anderson’s.
3. If you are a tourist, please remember that it is not always 100 degrees here. There’s a powerful little site called Weather.com. This site allows you to check the forecast 10 days in the future. Plenty of time to check and then board your transatlantic flight. Regardless of the weather and the fact that Lindsay Lohan dresses like this, tank tops and very, very short skirts/shorts on chubby people DO NOT WORK. No hate mail necessary, I am not calling Lindsay Lohan fat, just at times sloppy.
4. Does anyone need a refresher course on yesterday’s spandex lesson? Do not wear it unless you are Olivia Newton-John headed to the GYM.
5. I myself just got hired by a very sweet client yesterday who weighs approximately 88 pounds soaking wet. Of course she does. Now if I could only take my own advice and ditch the Baskin-Robbins ice cream late night, I would be feeling as fabulous as she looks. In the meantime, I’m going to get ready for yoga.
You all have a great and sunny day now. Kisses from La-La-Land… 
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